Sometimes, it all just a matter of time.

I don't know why but every time i try to blog, I always hit a mind block and can never get the words out correctly.

So here I am, in vancouver. I've been here for a couple of days. I'm "home".

But the wierdest part was walking down that street. I hate that street. It reminds me of a lot of things I left behind. It brings back memories that I thought I could erase, but sometimes...the memories that you want to forget, are the ones that seem to linger the longest and scar the deepest.

Sometimes, I wonder to myself, what if on that eventful day I changed my decision and made a different choice? Would I be happier? What if I had said what I've been wanting to say instead of holding back, finally letting it all out so that i can finally...breathe..?

Would I finally stop seeing those tears, would i stop having all these fears, would i forget all the doubts?

Sometimes I wish I was just strong enough. Strong enough to do what i needed to do. Not because I thought it was for the best, but because i wanted what was best for me. And for once, putting my feelings first...because I know now that I truly deserve something better. I hate being selfless, wandering in my own misery.


So I took one last look at this street, and told myself...nothing lasts forever.

The first step, is the hardest step to take.

I long for that relief; to finally say I'm happier without this...and truly mean it.

And until that day comes, I'll keep praying for that strength.